This post was written by Jeff of deTheos. Jeff is married to Kari and they have a son, Dutch. Jeff is currently attending Multnomah Biblical Seminary.

This year marks five years of marriage for my wife Kari and I; and three years in seminary, as students together. We have enjoyed every season of it, yet at times the various schedules of work and seminary life have collided to create a holy anticipation of rest.

Last summer we moved closer to school and family (in with Kari’s parents for a season), while I commuted 90 minutes each way to work. The plan was to leave my career in construction management in mid-August, allowing for a week or two of rest before Fall semester. But after giving five months notice at my job, we entered August without a replacement and no plan for a transition. Wanting to serve my boss and friend well to the very end, I stayed on part-time after Fall classes commenced. Sixteen graduate credits, added to 20-30 hours a week of work, added to being an intern with our church, and oh yeah, being a husband (of a seminary student too) and father. Something had to give. Praise God my part-time duties at my former job only stretched into the semester two months, and we were able to breath a little bit. While I was exhausted, it was probably hardest on Kari and our young son Dutch.

I had been using up every one of the 5,400 seconds during my commute home each night returning calls, processing the stress and strain of the day’s projects, and often listening to part of an audio sermon and worship music. Each night I arrived home emotional spent, and was ready to simply check out for the evening. But Kari and Dutch deserved so much more! He was growing up while I was away each day; Kari was clamoring to hear any news from the outside world (as we lived then and now with her parents). I simply gave her my mental left-overs.

In the middle of this season I read a quote from a book by pastor C.J. Mahaney. In Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God (pp. 49-50), he writes about transitioning one’s soul during the commute home from work. It struck me as powerful, practical, and very effective for being essentially a small thing. Seeking to do this has had great impact on our home life, and it is easy to tell when I haven’t paused and calmed my soul to be “all there” at home after a long day in class or at work. Let’s strive to be better husbands and fathers. Here is Mahaney’s story (emphasis added):

“When our first two children were still quite young, I realized that my commute home in the evening was functioning as little more than a review of my day. As far as I was concerned, by the time I got in that car, my responsibilities were pretty much over until the next morning. I saw my home as a refuge, a place where the emphasis, for me, was on being served rather than on leading and serving with Christlike love.”In God’s mercy, he showed me the selfish motivation I was bringing home each evening. I saw that my commute could be best utilized as a time of transition, so that I might be prepared to finish the day by loving and serving my family well.

“So I made a practice of pulling the car over a few blocks from home so I could take a couple of minutes to make an effective transition in my soul. There on the side of the road, I meditated on Ephesians 5 as well as on some other passages. I confessed to God my sinful tendency to be selfish and sought to prepare my heart to serve my wife and children when I arrived home. In this way I learned to see my home as the context where I have my greatest privilege and opportunity to serve. This practice had a transforming effect, allowing me to walk through the front door with the mind and heart of a loving servant-leader. By God’s grace, I found it an excellent help in building a loving marriage, enjoying my family, and minimizing regret.”

There I find a practical, everyday example of being a selfless husband, rooted in the theology of Christ. Even now when my commute can vary from 10-60 minutes, the last part is best served to calm and transition my soul. That way I am better able to walk in the Spirit home and give Kari and Dutch much more than the left-overs of the day. Praise the Triune God for His patience with us.

So, after sprinting full speed since mid December it is time for a little vacation. Starting Friday the family and I are heading off for some MUCH needed rest and relaxation. I’ve already cleared my work schedule and plan on only taking a couple of my school books. I have decided that I am simply going to go and relax… no pressure to get things done or obligations to fulfill. Now is time to rest.

Now, I know what is going through your mind right now… “Just a Guy, how am I supposed to make it through my week without the sage-like wisdom, insight, and life changing articles that you write every day?”

Well, fear not my friends, I leave you in good hands. Last week I contacted some of the seminary bloggers who frequent goingtoseminary.com and asked them if they would cover the shop while I was out. Not only did they say yes, but they’ve written some really great stuff. So, starting this Friday and going through next Wednesday we’ll be running articles written by our guest bloggers.

Be sure to show them the goingtoseminary.com love and comment on their posts and I’ll see you next week!

So, I haven’t written a personal post in a while, so I thought I’d catch you up to speed.

HOWEVER, before I do, I have to express my amazement at the underwhelming response to the iPod giveaway. I thought for sure that we’d get a great response from the sweet prize list. At this rate, if you were to scribble goingtoseminary.com on a piece of paper and tape it on a classroom door in order to be in the top 3… snap a picture with your phone and you’ll have a commanding lead over everyone (for 37 seconds of effort). So, whatever, it is an easy win at this point.

So, yeah… I’ve been dizzy for the past several days. My head feels like it is full of water and every time I stand up I feel like I’m going to fall down. It’s been pretty crazy (though it has been a lot better today). In evaluating the situation I’m sure that it is a combination of diet, sleep, and stress. I’m doing my best to keep them all in check, but that isn’t always possible.

The reality is that I’m pretty drained. I’ve been up till at least midnight for the past several weeks and getting up between 5 and 7 in the morning. The kicker is that I don’t stop “doing” then entire time I’m awake. It is either school, reading, studying, family time, serving the church, or work. I can’t really remember the last time I just sat and relaxed for more than 20 minutes. So, it has been pretty draining.

Now, despite the fact that I’m dizzy and drained… I’m delighted. I’m delighted because God’s grace is sufficient. I look at my situation and I am so thankful that I have an amazing church that I can serve in. I go to an amazing school with amazing professors and I get to read amazing books. I have a job that pays great and allows me to work whenever it fits my schedule. I have new clients and projects coming from seemingly nowhere. I’ve made enough money on this blog to buy someone an iPod. And last, most certainly not least, I have a family that is supporting me 100% and on most days I get to see them way more than I did working my 9-5 the past 6 months.

Another thing that I just realized is that I kind of like it when I’m worn out.  I think it is in times like this that I am more aware of my need for God.  Surely, without his grace I would have no hope and be crushed.  Yet, I am strangely comforted by my weakness… knowing that it is his strength that sustains me.

I might be dizzy and I might be drained… but I am so delighted that God would not only allow me the chance to do it all, but that he would sustain me in it all.

Press on friends… press on.

So, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to this semester and trying to determine how I will know if the semester is a success. Is it a successful semester if I get straight A’s? Is the number of pages I read this semester a measure of success? Is going to class every day an indicator of a good semester?

Well, I’m still working on this list. However, I think this is a really good idea… to sit down and determine what “success” looks like for you this semester. Then, when the semester is over, you can pull out the list and have a good evaluation tool. Also, I think it would be good to review the list from time to time during the semester… to remind you of what is really important and what you are really trying to acomplish.

So, with that said I’ll share some of the items that I’m thinking of putting on my list. PLEASE, feel free to share the items that make your list. (Is there anyone who already does something like this? If so, is it helpful?)

Oh, and I decided to add some general categories for the evaluation questions to fall within.

Questions to determine if this semester in seminary was a success(rough draft):

FAMILY:

• Does Just a Gal feel loved, appreciated, and that you devoted enough time and energy to her and the kids?
• Were you home for dinner most nights?
• Did you pray and read scripture with the family?
• Did you consistently pray for your family?
• Are you paying the bills?

SCHOOL

• Are you more in love with Jesus because of your studies?
• Did you read, with reasonable care, most of your assigned reading?
• Did you maintain a “C” or better in all your classes?
• Do you better understand Genesis - Joshua, its storyline, and its implications on the rest of scripture?
• Do you have a functional grasp of the Hebrew language?
• Do you better understand the book of Hebrews, with specific emphasis on texts that previously confused you?
• Have you been able to transfer what you’ve learned in Hermeneutics into something that is more than mere head knowledge?
• Have you been able to think more clearly about educational ministry within the church?

WORK

• Have you given excellent service to all your clients by providing clear and timely communication?
• Have you met all your promised completion dates?
• Have you found at least 4 sponsors for Going to Seminary?
• Have you wisely spent your open work hours developing and creating your affiliate marketing sites?

CHURCH

• Are you serving the local church?
• Are you involved in a small group and developing meaningful relationships with people?
• Are you praying for those who don’t know Jesus?

HEALTH

• Does Just a Gal still find you sexy?
• Do you eat 3 meals on most days?
• Have you increased your fruit consumption?
• Do you get adequate sleep every night?
• Are you dealing with your stress in a healthy way (or building it up until you blow up)?

SPIRITUAL

• Do love Jesus more and more?
• Are you consistent in your devotions (or are you skipping them to write blog posts like this one)?
• Are you consistently praying?
• Is your walk with Jesus a treasure and delight?

OK, so there is my rough draft. Please feel free to let me know what you think and/or what is (would be) on your list. I really think something like this is good to help remind you of what you value and what is important. Without it I might just end up trying to get straight “A’s” at the expense of all the other items. However, it is the entire list that defines a successful seminary semester.

There is a brief post on the Concordia Blog with some advice for those who have to relocate for seminary.

While not an exhaustive post on the subject, there are some great little pointers in regards to the practicals… Like don’t pack your boxes over 50 pounds and give your current employer your new address so he or she can send you your W2.

The post got me thinking that it might be a good idea to run a couple posts here on the topic of moving (especially since it is so fresh in my mind). Yeah… I think I’ll do that.

Posts on moving and relocation coming soon…

I’ve spent years trying to find the best way for Just a Gal and I to manage our money. While I’d like to think that I had the noble motives of being the best steward of the gifts God gave us, the reality was that most of the time I was just trying to figure out how we could pay the bills every month and have money left for food.

When I first began I simply had some paper and a pen. I’d record expenses (which were very few early on) and kept tabs on where money was going and upcoming bills. As expenses grew this method became too time consuming and I transfered to an excel spreadsheet. I would manually enter our expenses and could easily generate some graphs, charts, and reports to help us see where money was going.

After about a year of using excel I realized that I wasn’t a very good programmer and that my formulas were typically wrong. I tried out Microsoft Money and a couple other computer programs. At the end of it all the one things I noticed is that none of them really helped us to create a budget and stick to it. Instead of helping me budget, all these programs helped me to simply see, after the fact, where all our money went.

It was around this time that I discovered Mvelopes Personal. What set Mvelopes Personalapart from every other piece of financial software that I tried was that it actually took your budget and helped you stick with it.

Here’s how it works:

First, you determine how much income you bring in each month. Next, you create a REALISTIC budget that keeps you under the amount of money you make (spend less than you make… what a novel idea). Each budget item gets its own electronic envelope. Now, whenever you get paid you take the paycheck and divide it up amongst your envelopes, funding them until they each get the amount you have budgeted for the month. Now, as you spend money throughout the month you simply mark the expense in the appropriate envelope… once the money is gone from the envelope, stop spending… it is that simple.

The approach seems so simple to me, yet I have never seen a program close to Mvelopes Personal on the market.

Mvelopes Personal will login into your bank and credit card accounts and automatically download your transactions… so, keeping up with your expenses is as easy as drag and drop. Also, it is all online, so you can access it from anywhere.

Now, yes, Mvelopes Personal does cost you money… but for me, I finally realized that I needed something more to help me make and keep my budget. Since we started using Mvelopes Personal 2 years ago we’ve been able to truly manage and steward our money.

If you’re interested, give it a shot… it is a free 30 day trial, so what do you have to loose?

A recent conversation with Little Man:

Just a Guy (JG) - So, what did you learn about in class (Sunday School) today?
Little Man (LM) - Ummm… Jesus… and Matthew.
JG - Oh, what did you you learn about Jesus and Matthew?
LM - He was a co-wek-ter… a… a…
JG - tax?
LM - Oh, yeah, a tax co-wek-ter. He was Jesus friend.
JG - Was Matthew Jesus’ disciple?
LM - No, he was a co-wek-ter… uh, tax co-wek-ter.
JG - Right, Matthew was a tax collector but when he met Jesus he became one of his disciples. Do you know any other disciples?
LM - Uh… Peter? and uh… John… and uh, Jesus…
JG - No, Jesus wasn’t a disciple… that’s silly. So, did you learn anything else in class?
LM - People didn’t like co-wek-ters but Jesus loved them… OH! I was silly (giggling). Jesus isn’t a disciple, he’s a King.

… He’s a King! Yeah, I almost wrecked the car trying to turn around and give the kid a high-5 for that gem. I love it when my son drops bombs like that one.

But, as any parents will tell you, raising kids in the fear and admonition of the Lord is no easy task. For as many times as I hear things like “Jesus is a King” I hear, “I don’t want to pray” or “I don’t want to read the bible book” or countless other things that break my heart. It is a tough job and I thank God that he is gracious and merciful to us as we seek to honor him in raising our kids.

The thing that I’ve learned most with Little Man is that kids are the best seminary study guide. See, you and I sit in a stuff classroom with some uber-genius professor and a bunch of bible nerds discussing eschatology, antinomianism, and countless other “ologys” and “isms”… but leave the classroom and I have a big “so what” for you. Does the information you learn in seminary actually translate into information that can help you be a better pastor, spouse, parent, friend?

Deep down I think that in order to get your seminary degree you should have to write a children’s book. Can you actually take all these big words and phylosophical concepts and communicate them clearly in such a way that even a child can understand?

Little Man is 3 years old right now and at least once a week we have a discussion about the trinity… uh, yeah… and, as much as I’d like to explain it using big theological words, the reality is that he is three… so, now I must not only communicate truthfully and with correct theology, but it must be in a way that a 3 year old can understand.

Now, let me say that I haven’t mastered this one yet. But every time Little Man asks me a question I am forced to not give pat answers or to change topics. I must wrestle with what I believe and how I can explain it to my son. Therefore he has become my very best study guide.

Thanks Little Man.
I love you.

At dinner I was explaining to Little Man that I was learning Hebrew and that Hebrew has a alphabet (he has learned the English alphabet so I was trying to bridge that connection).

So, I got out my Hebrew alphabet sheet and we went through the letter with him repeating after me. After we went through one time Just a Gal grabbed the sheet and asked Little Man what each letter was… he really enjoyed it and each time would look to me for the answer. However, about half way through Just a Gal asked, “and what is this letter?” to which Little Man answered, “Lamma.” Sure enough it was “Lamed.” He gets mad points for being that close on the second time through with no help. I’m such a proud papa!

Super busy lately. I turned 30 yesterday and spent a good 3 hours shopping for health insurance (weeee). Went out to dinner with friends and ended up sitting at the table talking for 6 hours. It was a great night.

Today I have to rent the moving van, get renters insurance, change auto insurance, call the cable company, the power company, and the utilities. I then need to dumpster dive for moving boxes… oh, and go to the dentist.

Busy, Busy, Busy.

Going to seminary has always been a desire of mine. Well, maybe not always… but for a long while. I’ve even tried my hand a taking seminary classes online. In the end it never panned out for me. So, when and how did everything change for me? Well, the story goes something like this:

About 4 years ago my wife and I moved from the south to the not-quite-north. The move had lots of factors… FAR too many to go into here. But we packed the car and headed on the journey with a couple thousand dollars in the bank and an apartment waiting for us. The main reason we ended up in our city was because of a pastor and friend who had recently started a church was here and had mentioned that, at some point, there might be a job for me.

So, my wife and I started working off jobs and just scraping by. After abut a year I spoke with the pastor and discussed my desire to return to full time campus ministry (that is what I had been doing in the south for the 3 years prior to the move). We agreed that it was good timing and started to work towards me coming on staff. The one catch is that, as a campus minister, I had to go out and raise a financial partnership team. Some of you know what I’m talking about… for those who don’t, basically I went to lots of people (friends, family, friends or friends, and so on) and explained my passion to see college students impacted with the gospel. I then asked if they wanted to partner with me financially. And, low and behold, some did.

Now, the problem was that I was REALLY bad at the whole process. While I managed by God’s grace to get enough money to live, it was always tight and difficult… then we added little man… then a house… then sweetpea… then a mini van… over the years our expenses increased, yet income didn’t quite keep up. I was forced to work second jobs and long hours. It was always stressful… We were getting by, but we weren’t sure how long we could keep it up.

Finally, last summer we spent some serious time asking God what we needed to do. I could not see spending another year working 60-70 hours a week to just scrape by… not knowing if it would be a “good” month or a “bad” month. We felt like the grace might be up for this season of life. So, we asked God, “if not this… then what?”

Seminary.

It seemed like an odd answer. We can’t pay the bills now, how will we pay them there? How could this work?

Well, we prayed, talked to friends and family, and thought about it a lot. After about 3 months of consideration… I quit my job. Now, that sounds harsh, and it really wasn’t. My pastor was very supportive and agreed that this seems like the right thing at the right time.

So, here we are… 6 months later… according to our plans we should be packing boxes and preparing to move back south… none the less, that is not what seems to be happening.

So, that is how it went down for us. We’re still in the process. God used (uses) His word, our situations, our friends, and the passions he has given us to help us know where we need to be and what we need to do…

and, by the way, while the story might have sounded rough, I must make it abundantly clear that we have lived a very comfortable life and God has never left us unprovided for. There were times it might have been a little tough, but God has taken care of our every need and many of our wants… To Him I am grateful forever.