Tough transition day

My heart broke today.

I walked into the kitchen to fix some lunch and saw my wife crying… enough said, right?

I walked up and simply held her.

“I’m sad,” she said through her tears. “I miss my friends.”

There wasn’t much to say except that I understood and that I wished I could make things easier… but I can’t. I can simply hold my wife, love her, and pray for God’s grace during this time in our lives.

The fact of the matter is that I’m sad too… Moving is hard, no two ways around it. We’ve left our best friends in the world hundreds of miles away and now we sit in a new house, new town, new church… not much is familiar… no walking into church and looking to your left to see ____ and ____. No knowing that when you go to the coffee shop you’ll likely run into ____. No calling up _____ and _____ to come over for dinner. It is tough.

I’ve spent time today dwelling on the Gospel and reminding myself that my King also had to leave the place he knew, a place he loved… he left the throne of heaven and came to live and die on earth. That has helped… staring at Jesus usually does… but it is still a battle.

I’d be humbled and honored if you could take a moment and say a prayer for my family.

My hope is built
on nothing less
than Jesus blood
and righteousness.

I dare not trust
the sweetest frame
but wholly lean
on Jesus name.

Edward Mote c.1834

My Journey - What is going on?

Ok friends, not giving any advice in this post… Just thinking out loud here…

So, if you know about me then you know I am not currently attending seminary. I’ve been taking seminary classes virtually and was planning on transferring to a residential campus at the start of 2008. Through a series of events that I have not had time to share yet (though it is on my “to be posted” list) my wife and I decided to move forward with the decision to quit my job, move to far away, and attend seminary. It was a decision based on much prayer and through much council. Through the whole process it appeared that God’s hand was working things in such a way that it was going to work… now, here we are, about a month away from when we need to move and we haven’t sold our house. This is the final piece to the puzzle. It is also the make or break of the whole deal. No house sell, no move, no seminary… do not pass go, do not collect $200.

So, I sit here today… wondering. Did I miss something? Lord, what are you doing? I know you aren’t a con-man trying to hide your will from me… but I just don’t understand.

Thankfully, I am not crushed by the situation… it isn’t like I’m freaking out. I’m not questioning God’s plans and purposes… But I’m just confused. Everything seemed to be right, and now this.

So, I’m not sure what to do. We figure that we have about another week before we miss our window of opportunity for this upcoming semester (the one we have already registered for). After that, I’m not sure what happens… Do we put off seminary for another 6 months? Continue to live in this state of limbo? Do we throw in the towel and just keep trying to do virtual classes?

I don’t know… no answers here.

You have any answers? Anyone want to buy our house?

In the beginning - My Seminary Journey

So, as part of this blog I’ll be chronicling my journey to and in seminary. So, to catch you up to speed we need to go back… way back…

I’d say it was in middle school (about 18 years ago) that I first felt a “call” to ministry. I remember sitting in a youth group meeting, listening to one of the pastors preach and I thought, “I think I’d like to do that when I grow up.” Now, I’m sure that isn’t a common thought amongst lots of 12 year olds… but, none the less, there was something there inside me, drawing me.

Well, between then and my sophomore year in college my life didn’t really follow a path that would lead one to become a pastor. I lived a life that was pretty self serving in those years. I still had a seed of faith in my heart… but being a pastor was certainly not in the forefront of my mind.

Then, through some very divine circumstances God, in his mercy and grace, captured my attentions and affections as a sophomore in college. One night, at a party, with a bud light in hand I said a quite prayer of total surrender to God that went something like, “God, if you’re real and the Bible is true, then you have a plan for me and I want to live it with every fiber of my being.”

It was shortly after this that the seed planted in my heart all those years earlier began to be watered and grow. I began to realize that there was little else I truly wanted to do in this life than be a pastor (take that in a very broad sense please… being a pastor has lots of forms, not just the one guy who talks on Sunday mornings… but I’m sure you know that.)

Anyway, I began to take steps in that direction by becoming really involved in a campus ministry based out of my local church. Several fast and strange years later I found myself as the campus minster for said church and campus ministry. As a young, twenty something, in full time vocation ministry I thought I knew everything… I soon realized I knew nothing. It was during this time that seminary first started to become interesting to me. I began to realize that I have a lot to learn and my local church might not have all the depth of training I might need to be and do all I felt called to be and do. So, for the first time, I began to look intently at seminary.

So, that is how it began. In upcoming posts I’ll explain how I started to look at seminaries and how I ended up being a virtual student and, eventually, we’ll catch up to present day and where I am now in the journey.

Anyone else know early in life that this is the direction you were going? When did you first sense a call to vocational ministry?

Finding the Will of God

So, one of the books that helped me the most in finally making the decision to attend seminary was Bruce K. Waltke’s book, Finding the Will of God: A Pagan Notion? In his book Waltke masterfully addresses an issue that is all too common in the church, namely divination.

Somewhere along the lines we have come to the conclusion that God is some con-man trying to pull a slide-of-hand trick with us and keeping his will from us. So, with that in mind we try all kinds of cooky ways to try and find out what God’s will is (anyone else played bible roulette before?).

Waltke points out that what most Christians try to pass off as “finding God’s will” is really nothing different from pagan divination. To remedy the situation Waltke offers (the last half of the book) practical suggestions on how a believer can “know God’s will.”

Now, I’m not typically the kind of guy who like “step” books… 12 steps to a better prayer life, 101 ways to evangelize the lost… But Waltke’s recommendations are so simple, practical, and pastoral, that I couldn’t help myself from saying, “Duh… I knew that… maybe I should remember that next time.”

Now, pretty much, if I know someone who is trying to make a big life changing decission, I recommend this book… So, to you trying to decide if God is calling you to seminary… check it out.

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